I Have A Née Problem

There is a saying that bad things happen in threes, and while nothing "bad" has really happened it has been three instances of née that have brought me to my current (and slightly irrational I admit) frustration with née.

Or more precisely, other people's usage of née.

For those of you who don't know, née or nee, is an adjective that essentially translates as "born". Née is placed after the name of a married woman to introduce her maiden name, such as Elizabeth Darcy, née Bennet.

On tombstones it can be seen inscribed something along these lines (the examples are taken from Holy Trinity):

Nora Ellen
Anderson
(Hourie)
1886 – 1927

Celecia Alice Johnson
nee Halliday
March 3, 1914
February 13, 1987

Now for my née problem.

In Holy Trinity, there is a grave marker in what I call the Holmes Lot, as three Holmes—father Algernon Holmes with daughters Rose Robarts née Holmes and Grace Featherstone née Holmes—along with the sisters offspring are buried there. The tombstone reads:

Clara J. Wells
(nee Holmes)
1887 – 1984

Research in Our Harvest of Memories reveals however, that Clara is Algernon's wife. No where in the account does it make reference to the fact that she remarried after her death which could explain Clara's surname on the marker being Wells. Or else, Wells is her maiden name but that is not clearly stated either.

In any case the inscription of "(nee Holmes)" is incorrect. I know it is possible that she was born a Holmes (I have a neighbour who was born Anderson and married an Anderson) but there is nothing for the little amount of research I have done to indicate that possibility.

The second instance of née. The post office in the town where I work uses it's doors only for posting funeral notices. This last Friday, November 27th I went to fetch mail and found a notice for a:

Mrs Jane Doe (née Deer - née Buck)

(The reason for the brevity and ungulate references is that I didn't actually memorize the notice, just got annoyed with what I understand to be the incorrect usage of née. I'll try to do better in future.)

Then the third offence. I was browsing through Graveyard Rabbit blogs checking for updates, and came across the photo in the Cemeteries of Bloomington-North, Illinois blog run by Julie. The photo in question can be seen here, but the transcript is as follows:

Sarah A. Vreeland
nee Smith - nee McFee
Oct. 24, 1830, June 17, 1897

Which concludes the instances of frustration arousing offences that lead me to write this post.

I'm going to eventually work out the mystery of Clara as she's buried in one of "my" cemeteries, but I do wonder about the other two ladies. Of the nées attached to their names, is one actually their maiden name and the other their first husband? Or are both for husbands and the surname following their given name their maiden name?

Is there actually a pattern to what order the nées are listed, such as first husband's surname then maiden name? Or is it up to the person who does the "writing". What happens when you have a woman who's remaired three or more times?

Can anyone reading this explain why née is written the ways they are in these instances?